Rock Show DNAs – A Beginner’s Guide

Born and brought up in a place where every second person is a musician and where you’ll find a band in every by-lane, my inclination toward ‘western’ music started right from infancy…well almost! By high school, I had a band of my own where I was the oh so kewl drummer. Not because I wanted to be a drummer, (I always wanted to be a guitarist but soon realized my just about average guitar playing skills) but because the group I hang out with had much talented guitarists and there was nobody else to keep the beat.

The addiction for Rock and all its variant took me to all parts of the country… bonding & belonging as a part of the GREAT INDIAN ROCK scene. During these expeditions, I’ve come across hundreds of head bangers and a$$ holes alike coming together for a rock show, to have a good time or even to kill time!!!

This post goes out for those new to the Indian scene, an humble attempt to classify the people you are likely to find in a Rock show. Sounds weird? well read on…

1. Hardcore( Metal Mentality)

This breed is easily identifiable. More than 70 percent of the crowd consists of people belonging to this category. They generally sport long locks with or without beads, very short crop or even bald but never a ‘normal’ haircut. Pierced ears are common, so is pierced eyebrows, lips and all other imaginable and unimaginable body parts. Black T shirts of bands like Metallica, Iron Maiden, Bob Marley, Slayer and a pair of really old denims (far too stereo-typed now to be rebelliously fashionable…but somehow it always does the trick.) This is not the absolute dress code but black is the more or less, the official colour.

If you look closer, the Hardcore category can be further divided into smaller groups based on parameters other than their outlook:

a.) The Wannabes (Thinking Metal): These are the types who have their own garage bands and fancy themselves on the stage in the next few years. You’ll find this category either at the front to watch closely how the guys play or at the very last row, watching the tricks of the trade from a distance, nodding approvingly or lamenting how better they are but it is just the .

b.) The Metalheads (Banging Metal): They start for any Rock Show a good two hours in advance so that they can bet some quick booze before the show actually starts. Use of chemicals is not very uncommon though not widespread. This sub breed lives the life of a Rock Star, shows a great level of finesse in the art of Head Banging. Being sloshed during most of the show, they are prone to pick up a fight anytime before, after or during the show. This group is generally the most vocal and energetic part of the crowd.

c.) The Comfortably Numbs (Lost in Translation): Members of this category are big fans of Pink Floyd, Marley, The Doors and other psychedelic music. Most of them are good with words and poetry and share a common passion – Marijuana. You’ll find them in circles, quickly rolling up joints so that they get just the right ‘High’ to enjoy music. The irony is that by the time they achieve ‘Nirvana’, the show is over. Every time.

2. New Kids on the Block

Bitten by the Rock bug, this section of the crowd tries to enter the heavily guarded turf of the first category. They try hard and at times too hard to be a part of the tribe. Their outfit resembles the Hardcore category but prints can vary from Britney Spears to a WWE superstar.
Skimpily dressed chicks who are with their boyfriends and who have no idea what the hell the Vocalist is screaming…err singing falls into this category. But they dress smart, looks hot and adds zing to otherwise all male shows. Thank you very much.

3. The Metal Bashers (pun intented)

This category of the group represents the attitude of our society at large. They do not last more than an hour if left alone. In the company of other members of this breed, they’ll spend the whole evening criticizing the Noise (music), the Lunatics (the Hardcores) and discussing the chicks. If more in numbers, they do not shy away from shouting phrases like ‘Himesh Reshmiya bajaoo’ and other such nonsense. Why are they here? Reasons could be varied. Free passes and otherwise boring evening are popular excuses.

4. The Ball Breakers

This category of parasites are found not only in a Rock shows but in all walks of life. On roads, in crowded buses and all sorts of public places. Got the hint? Yeah, the a$$ holes who get a kick from rubbing themselves and their genitals against women or men. Crowded places like a rock show is their happy hunting ground.

This is it for now. I will keep you posted if I happen to discover any new breed. 🙂

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About unknownuser666

Just another noise in the cacophony.
This entry was posted in Desi Rock, Humour. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Rock Show DNAs – A Beginner’s Guide

  1. Adi Crazy says:

    Right said Unknown, I have had amusing personal encounters with a few-“Skimpily dressed chicks who are with their boyfriends and who have no idea what the hell the Vocalist is screaming…err singing…””…they’ll spend the whole evening criticizing the Noise (music), the Lunatics (the Hardcores) and discussing the chicks. If more in numbers, they do not shy away from shouting phrases like ‘Himesh Reshmiya bajaoo’…”lolzzz…Can’t stop laughing!

  2. RAJA says:

    Seriously curse those wannabe metalheads..and why duznt TOI ever publicize the rock events….god knws….its great that DNA is putting its foot forward in this field….lol i m a metal head too….plz visit my blog nd leave some comment there….http://www.deathlycatacombs.blogspot.com/

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